Avoiding Toxic People

Unless you live in a cave away from all other humans, chances are you will have an opportunity to have people in your life. When we're children we have no choice in who is in our world, family, fellow students, teachers, coaches, clergy, you name it, you just have to suck it up and make the best of it. I guess it teaches us many life lessons on how to get along with those we don't really enjoy being around. HOWEVER, once you are an adult, you get a little more control of those things. At that point, you must really question why you hang around with people who belittle you, or are jealous of you, or want to pull you down to their miserable level. You may not be able to get rid of all of these negative people in your life but you can choose how much time you spend with them and can also make a conscious choice not to let their words and actions affect you!!

You Cannot Choose Your Family BUT You Can Choose Your Friends

Questions to ask yourself about whether a person is toxic to you, does this person: 1. Applaude your successes 2. Give you a feeling of joy - not to be confused with comfort 3. Make you laugh 4. Help you when it's not a fun task or when you're down 5. Tell you their honest opinion when you're doing something stupid to genuinely try to help you 6. See most situations as cup half full 7. Accept you for who you are, warts and all 8. Really listen when you need to talk 9. Make you feel you can trust and depend on them 10. Make eye contact 11. Lead by example 12. Sincerely apologize when wrong and then doesn't repeat the mistake - also forgives you if you mess up 13. Reciprocate, it's not all you encouraging time together 14. Agree to disagree instead of getting into a fight 15. Have confidence about themself OR 1. Spend all their time consumed with their issues 2. Judge you on superficial stuff like how you dress, your hair, your taste in music/movies/food etc. - especially belitting you in front of others 3. Makes you feel you're on eggshells around them, in fear of upsetting them 4. Compete with you, not a little friendly competition, but they're seriously ticked off if you best them 5. Lie to you or to others in front of you 6. Guilt you into doing or saying things you know aren't authentic to you 7. See most situations as cup half empty 8. Gossip a lot about others? Think you're the only one they DON'T gossip about? Puuuhhlllease!!! 9. Show signs of jealousy 10. Lack empathy or even sympathy 11. Not admit if they've made a mistake - and will often try to project it onto you 12. Have a lot of crazies in their past 13. Encourage really bad behavior 14. Talk down to you and interrupt a lot 15. Cycle between kindness and meanness 16. Try to alienate you from others When you think of this person, what is your first thought? A happy or unhappy thought? When they leave are you bummed out or relieved? I was the queen of trying to change people, with time I learned people don't really change at their core and sometimes it's best to walk away and surround yourself with loving people who have your back.
Full disclosure: I am not a psycologist, just someone who has lived a while and gathered info I think may help, please do your own research and consult a professional if needed.